Successful Conduct from a 70’s Baby for Millennial’s on the Road to Fruition
You are responsible for creating your own reality.
This is a challenging concept to convey because those of us who despise the games that people play pride ourselves on “keeping it real”. Always be true to yourself, a reputation of being consistent in your interpersonal relationships and dealings is an invaluable character trait. This also means that to be consistent in this approach to prepare yourself for success in this world, the truth must be told on this issue as well:
You must learn to play the games of life.
It’s that simple. If you have big goals and big dreams, as decent and noble as they might be, you will be challenged, and you will be tested. Is your dream really worth it? Do you have what it takes? Though you may have talent and dedication, you could still lose to the games or politics that people play if you refuse to engage.
Whether your dream is to be a rock star or the CEO, you must learn to play to the audience, without appearing to be a threat to the aspirations of others. You must compete without being outwardly competitive. You must know that you are being watched at all times. You will be forced to play, and as the saying goes- You have to be in it ….to win it. It’s the way you choose to play the games of life that will eventually become your legacy. You cannot withdraw into yourself or stay in your comfort zone.
When an obstacle arises, our instincts kick in, we learn to make a way out of no way in the mundane duties of survival. We are quick to claim victory over issues that are logistic or even monetary in nature. If you lack money, you apply for a job, you’ll work two if you have to. If you need transportation, you take the train or the bus, bum rides from friends; you find a way. But what about when what stands in your way is a living breathing human being? Someone who you are required to work with to reach your goals. You instinctively know that these people want to take your spot. How does this dilemma cause you to show up in the world?
Anxiety, self-consciousness, or the lack of self-awareness has caused many to self-sabotage and destruct. Here are a few tactics to ponder on this journey called life:
- Do not use the game as an excuse to manipulate.
Even when you feel that you have been marked for manipulation by others. It’s easy to fall into the very low vibration of tit-for-tat in exchange of ill will and bad energy, but you don’t have time for that. Karma is real, you don’t need any bad juju. Be careful not to throw anyone under the preverbal bus, but at the same time don’t go under one without a fight. Cover your ass, in every way that you can think of in all situations.
- Use your quick wit and constructive cooperation to maneuver traps and pitfalls set by haters.
Know that everyone is not your friend. Keep your business to yourself. The less that people know about you personally the better. Be selective about who you spend your time and energy with.
- Is it necessary for everyone to know how you feel and what you think on every subject?
When you have something to add to the conversations, don’t hold back, but make sure that you know what you’re talking about, and who you are talking to. If someone says something off-color, it is tempting to call them out, and sometimes you must! But do you always have to be the one to burn the house down? Don’t be fake, but choose your battles carefully.
The good thing about this tactic is that when you listen more than you talk, you learn more about other people, and they like that. People tell you exactly who they are, you just need to believe them.
- Be friendly, but don’t be a people pleaser.
Healthy boundaries in business relationships are just as important as the ones you set in your personal life. Don’t let people call you last minute. You’re not the backup for someone’s lack of planning. But, it is perfectly acceptable to be cooperative and calculate the benefit of coming through for someone in a clutch situation- know the difference.
- Don’t let people use you.
Reciprocity demonstrates a higher level of respect and gratitude than simply saying the words Thank You, even when said sincerely. Always give something in return, but do not accept inappropriate gifts, unless you don’t mind being inappropriately propositioned. Find the appropriate time and situation to initiate your giving, at an impersonal level without expecting anything in return, but dl take notes of who is naughty or nice.
- Remove yourself swiftly from rooms where others are spoken of unfavorably.
Most people who will speak ill of others will speak ill of you. Don’t learn this the hard way. Context is a tricky construct. What you say can be misinterpreted and misconstrued which leads to you being misrepresented when they get it twisted on the repeat. Just remember what your grandmother told you, well I know what grandmothers told us, so I’ll tell this to you -If you don’t have anything nice to say STFU and smile. Don’t be the chick repeating things you thought you heard out of context either.
These 6 tips should hold you for a while youngin’. Understand that the student has become the teacher and I expect that your journey will have fewer pitfalls if you take heed. No need to thank me later. That’s what O.G.’s is for.
