What is Slut Shaming? ~ Why Should You Even Care?
Slut-shaming is nothing new. However, the term has taken hold in popular culture. The definition of slut-shaming is a woman feeling that she is viewed negatively as a “slut” for being sexually active ~out loud. She believes that she is being socially punished with a title that creates a double standard between men and women.
Cultural conditioning and religious customs give women a template to follow when it comes to sexual behavior that is ideally confined to monogamy in a heterosexual relationship. Today, many women have self awareness, esteem and the inner compass to find a healthy balance and fulling bonds that develop at a desirable pace without the guilt trips about sexual behavior. Others take a feminist stance, thinking that once in control of her own sexuality, a woman should be treated like a man in society.
Men and Women Are Equal ~ But Different.
Gender plays a part in the way we play our cards, and in our overall destiny. Social engineering? Perhaps, but much of this is biological. Scientists at the University of San Francisco have explored the way hormones Testosterone and Estrogen stimulate the complex sexual behaviors in men and women.
The article Modular genetic control of sexually dimorphic behaviors was published in the the February 3, 2012 issue of the journal Cell. This information leads me to believe that social constructs promoted around sexual behavior may also be influenced by how biology functions with our psyche.
Physically, women are receivers; vessels that bring forth new life. It is no wonder, that societies would develop culture that protects the womb, by asking women to limit access to it through psychological means.
Slut. ~ Who’s shaming You?
Millennials are the generation where anything goes. In a digital-savvy world, technology has given women the opportunity to be aggressors even in a passive act like posting a selfie.
For about a decade, wanton women have been winning!! The strip club found its niche in the mainstream with award winning anthems on the radio that praise the licentious female. Fantasy has prevailed over prudence for women once THOT to never be a housewife.
This new paradigm forces home girls to do a little more, a little sooner to compete for equal opportunity on the dating scene. ~ Talk about a double standard. Life is full of lopsided outcomes if you focus your attention on one side of any equation.
A Lady ~ In These Streets
Most women don’t lead with their sexuality because she knows that is not the true power of the divine feminine energy . Having goals and ambitions that are not related to sexual behavior puts everything into proper prospective. The way a woman cares for, carries and feels about herself is the only issue.
Who can shame a grown woman that is paying her own way in today’s world? It’s hard out here for… ~ everybody.
How is it even possible that one woman’s sexy episode in the back seat with a man who respects and desires her, can be viewed as exciting and spontaneous, but the same act can be another lady’s lowest point, in the mind of the same guy? It’s because you are dealing with some version of the Madonna Whore Complex in men. But he is not to blame.
It takes two to make a thing go right, it’s called co-dependency. A woman with Daddy Issues to work through will always meet her match until healing takes place.
Quality ~vs~ Quantity
Having a lot of sex is not in everyone’s definition of sexy. However, everyone wants great sex. Women are encouraged to embrace their sexuality, without being considered easy. There seems to be a thin line for those inclined to judge. It can be hard for a woman who enjoys sex with her partner to take it up a notch without him questioning if she would be as free with someone else.
There are scores of women with bomb pu**y willing to misbehave respectfully with a man who matches her swag. Oh lets not pretend ~ I’m speaking only to the grown ups, we live in a society that gets it in. But more important than what others think about a woman’s sexual behavior is how she feel’s about ~herself.
Are You ~ Ashamed?
Are the people who shame you, the ones starring in your mirrors?
If that’s the case, she is the only one you need to convince to stand up for you. But you must meet her face to face.
Getting real with the emotional effects of sexual intercourse without intimacy over long periods of time will have you looking for more than that man with a flash light in the daytime! Your dignity and self respect will become equally aloof.
If validation is what you seek, couldn’t you find it within? The outside world can’t give you what it never had the power to take away. You do have other hobbies, interests, and offerings that make you unique~ right?
You may never find lasting approval in the eyes of the men you’ve known if you did not establish it from jump. But then again~
Maybe you really don’t care. If that is the case, I can RESPEK it, because honestly neither does anyone else. Really. If you used discretion, we wouldn’t know anything about what most women keep private.
Most women are too busy working out their own womanhood and supporting others on the journey of becoming. Your version of this focuses on one attribute of the complex person that you are. ~Slut. You are battling for equal time on a playing field that you are not built to play on, for the long term. So, to each her own.
Don’t ever label ~yourself in a way that allows you to be defined by ~anyone, as ~anything that does not take into account who you are as a ~whole person. That would be a real shame.
_____________References_______________
Birdman Goes Off On The Breakfast Club Power 105.1 [Video file]. (2016, April 22). Retrieved June 24, 2016, from https://youtu.be/4jLT7GQYNhI http://www.breakfastclubonline.com
Crawford, M., & Popp, D. (2003). Sexual double standards: A review and methodological critique of two decades of research. Journal of Sex Research, 40(1), 13-26. doi:10.1080/00224490309552163
Gaudette, P. (2011). Madonna/Whore Complex Love without Sex; Sex without Love. Lecanto,, FL: Home & Leisure Publishing. http://madonnawhore.com/
In Touch Weekly. (2016). Amber Rose Leads Crowd in ‘SlutWalk’ & Throws Shade at Ex Kanye West – In Touch Weekly. Retrieved May 27, 2016, from http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/amber-rose-leads-crowd-in-slutwalk-throws-shade-at-ex-kanye-west-72663
Mental Health America. (n.d.). Codependency Relationships – Codependent. Retrieved June 27, 2016, from http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/co-dependency
Page, K. (2015). Deeper dating: How to drop the games of seduction and discover the power of intimacy. Boston, MA: Shanbahala. http://www.amazon.com/Deeper-Dating-Seduction-Discover-Intimacy/dp/1611801222
Swan, T. (2016, May 28). The Divine Feminine (How To Awaken The Divine Feminine Within You) – Teal Swan [Video file]. Retrieved from https://youtu.be/vzYzFxw8AMU
❤ Teal’s web page: http://tealswan.com/
Xu, X., Coats, J., Yang, C., Wang, A., Ahmed, O., Alvarado, M., . . . Shah, N. (2012). Modular Genetic Control of Sexually Dimorphic Behaviors. Cell, 148(5), 1066-1067. doi:10.1016/j.cell.2012.02.026 http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0092867411015716
